The demands of daily life can make it difficult to take care of yourself. We often see ads or social media posts alluding to self-care as spa days and long baths. While those things can be an important part of taking care of yourself, they are not the only ways to practice self-care.
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was created by Marsha M. Linehan and provides a variety of skills to assist folks in having a life they want to continue living. As a therapist, I enjoy teaching these skills to folks when it fits with their needs. As a person, I have found many of these skills helpful in handling the stressors of life, regulating my own emotional reactions, and improving my relationships with others.
One of the skills within the original DBT skills manual is known by the acronymn PLEASE, and it relates to taking care of oneself in order to be best able to handle stress in life. I have built upon the framework of Linehan and Lane Pederson, another DBT trainer, and I talk with clients about being “PLEASED with Self-Care.”
Check out the image below to see what each letter stands for, and read on for some insight into a few of these. I find that many people, whether they are working through an experience of trauma or feeling off-balance with all that’s been happening in the world over the past few years, find some relief in practicing self-care in this way.
Sleep Hygiene
As someone who struggles with sleep, I can attest firsthand to the impact of a good night’s sleep on overall health. We have more energy and are able to think more clearly when we sleep well. “Sleep hygiene” is a fancy way of referring to the stuff we can do to help us get the best sleep possible.
This includes things like the following:
-Put away electronics at least 30 minutes before bed to help your brain and body begin to wind down.
-Creating a comfy space for sleeping, to the best of your ability. If you have control over lighting and temperature, you may want to ensure it’s dark and cool in the room where you’re sleeping.
-Limiting caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine can excite your nervous systems, keeping you awake. Alcohol may cause you to feel sleepy initially, but the effect wears off fairly quickly and can lead to interrupted sleep.
Enjoyable Movement
You may be wondering why the idea of movement is a part of self-care. Or perhaps you’re wondering why I don’t simply use the word “exercise.” For myself and many others, those two words – exercise and movement – conjure up very different reactions. “Exercise” brings to mind years of programming around moving my body in certain ways with the goal of changing my appearance. “Movement” makes me focus on how my body is moving and what the experience is like in that moment.
Our bodies were created for movement, and they are capable of moving in some amazing ways. Taking care of yourself means moving your body in ways that you enjoy, and recognizing that those ways of moving will likely look different from day to day. One day you may enjoy a high-energy activity like swimming laps or hip-hop dancing. Other days your body may need something slower paced like a stroll through the park or some gentle stretching. Part of taking care of yourself is acknowledging what you need each day. So, check in with your body and find forms of movement that are enjoyable for you.
List Resources & Barriers
Taking care of yourself includes many aspects from scheduling regular check-ups and dental cleanings to recognizing the importance of sleep to moving your body in enjoyable ways. The reality is that we’re not all on an equal playing field when it comes to self-care. Part of being intentional in caring for yourself is taking the time to identify the resources and barriers that play a role in your situation.
Resources may be things like having a relationship with a doctor your trust, being able to take time off to attend appointments, or having access to a variety of foods. Barriers may include months-long wait times to see a provider, lack of control over aspects of your sleeping environment, or difficulties with transportation. Taking the time to identify the resources and barriers present in your situation will help you in creating a personal self-care plan. You may realize that one of your barriers is lack of support, leading you to reach out to friends or a licensed professional.
Want More?
Interested in learning more about taking care of yourself and the role that self-care plays in overall wellness? I work with many folks who struggle with self-care for a variety of reasons – always putting others first, not learning how to care for themselves, being told it was selfish to focus on their needs, etc. If you’re located in North Carolina and interested in exploring how self-care (or lack thereof) impacts your mental health, I invite you to contact me and I would be happy to chat with you and so we can determine it’s a good fit for us to work together.
If you specifically struggle with how to eat balanced meals and/or find joy in moving your body, my Body Mindfulness group may be a good fit for you. I will be running another round of this group, focused on being aware of your body’s needs and improving body image, beginning in August 2022. If you’re in North Carolina, and would like to get more information about this group, let me know via the contact form on my website.
Michelle F. Moseley is a licensed clinical mental health counselor providing telehealth services in the state of North Carolina. She specializes in providing support for folks who struggle with feelings of not being enough, which often stem from messages of being “too much.” She works from a trauma-informed perspective, and believes that ALL people deserve respect, compassion, and to feel heard. Learn more about Michelle by visiting www.MichelleFMoseley.com or following her on Instagram – @therapy_with_michelle